Raising a child with an ex can be challenging, especially if you still have difficulty talking to or even being around your former spouse. But just because you got a divorce does not mean that the other person stops being a parent. Your child deserves unconditional love and attention from both parents, even if they are no longer together. And your child will need all the support they can get after a significant life change.
While child support in Santa Fe can go a long way in materially supporting the child, the parent still has a responsibility to guide them through life. Few children emerge unscathed from a divorce, and they will have difficulties dealing with the many changes in their life.
You might not be able to take your child’s pain away, but you can make the experience easier for them.
1. Tell your child you love them
Many children believe that they are to blame when their parents split. At such a young age, they find it difficult to understand why the two constants in their life would suddenly part ways. They would start thinking that if they did not misbehave or if they were more obedient, their parents would not be this way.
Always reassure your child that your divorce has nothing to do with them and that your love will never diminish. Help them understand that just because one parent does not live at home anymore does not mean that they do not want to be around their child.
2. Help your child adjust to new arrangements
With divorce comes the new custody arrangements. In some cases, one parent retains the primary physical custody of the child, with the other dropping by on weekends and holidays. Other divorced couples share the responsibilities equally, and the child can spend equal time between two homes.
Regardless of the arrangement, it is vital to help your child adjust to their new normal. They should understand that this how things will work now. The sooner they realize that the situation will not go back to the way it used to be, the faster they will accept the new arrangement.
3. Allows your child to communicate freely
Your child will have a lot of questions, but they might feel afraid to speak their mind. Even if your child is not very talkative, it is healthy to encourage them to communicate their feelings freely and without judgment. Free expression imparts a sense of empowerment and can help them better understand their new situation.
Children who do not express their frustrations through healthy communication might lash out. Teach them to say what they feel and think to allow them to vent their anger more productively.
These pointers will help you guide your child through a stressful time in their life. Regardless of your reasons for divorcing your spouse, always remember that your child should be insulated from the stress and pain of the divorce. Even if you cannot be civil with your ex, you should avoid badmouthing the other parent to your child.
