In a Struggling Marriage? What You Should Do

  • A lack of communication and financial instability can cause struggling marriages.
  • Talk openly and honestly, practice active listening, set boundaries, and seek reconciliation to try and save the marriage.
  • Make time for each other, show respect, find professional help, and remain positive during difficult times.
  • If separation is the only option, get a divorce lawyer to ensure the legal process is fair for both parties.

Marriages can struggle for various reasons, from lack of communication to financial instability. According to the American Psychological Association, one in three marriages in the U.S. will end in divorce. This number is even higher if you consider couples who choose not to marry and live together.

A significant contributor to struggling marriages is a lack of communication between partners. Couples may shut down or simply ignore each other’s feelings to avoid conflict or feeling overwhelmed by stress. Without a willingness to talk through problems and feelings, resentment can slowly build up between partners, leading to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

Another reason why marriages suffer is due to financial instability. Financial issues such as excessive debt, job loss, job changes, and unexpected expenses can stress a marriage and cause tension between partners. When couples cannot manage their money effectively together, it can strain the marriage, eventually leading to arguments or divorce.

Of course, divorce is the last resort in a struggling relationship. Before you come to that conclusion, here are a few steps you can take to try and save your marriage:

fighting couple signaling divorce

Have an Open Discussion

An open and honest discussion is one of the most important steps couples can take to save their struggling marriage. When couples are willing to communicate openly and honestly, they can express their feelings, fears, and concerns without feeling judged or threatened. This kind of dialogue allows couples to better understand each other’s perspectives, leading to greater empathy and understanding within the relationship.

Practicing active listening is essential when approaching an open discussion with your partner. This means actively paying attention to what your partner is saying without interrupting or making assumptions about what they’re trying to say. It’s also necessary to give each other space for both partners’ feelings and opinions to be respected without judgment. Additionally, couples must remain calm when discussing complex topics so emotions do not get out of hand.

Another way couples can approach an open discussion is by setting clear boundaries about what topics are off-limits for conversation. Couples should come up with a list of topics that are not acceptable for discussion, such as past relationships or financial issues that could cause undue stress. These boundaries allow both partners to feel safe and comfortable discussing their problems without worrying about escalating into a heated argument.

Seek Reconciliation

Of course, the discussion should result in action. Now that you know the problems and issues in your marriage, it’s time to start finding solutions. This means seeking reconciliation between yourself and your partner. It is important to practice forgiveness and acceptance, as both partners must be willing to let go of the past to move forward.

Here are a few examples to consider:

Make Time for Each Other

Couples need to take time to reconnect and understand each other’s feelings and needs. Spending quality time with each other can help couples get back on track in their marriage. This could include going on dates, taking up a shared hobby or activity, or simply talking to each other without distractions. Couples should carve out some time in the day or week to keep their relationship strong and healthy.

Show Respect for Each Other

Respect is critical to successful relationships, and couples must respect each other’s opinions, values, and beliefs. When couples respect one another, they can avoid destructive arguments that lead to resentment and further distance between partners. Respectful communication also allows couples to discuss complex topics without fear of hurtful words or judgments being made about them as individuals or as a couple.

Find Professional Help

If talking things through isn’t enough to save your struggling marriage, seeking professional help may be the best option for you and your partner. A trained therapist can provide insight into why your relationship is complex and help you develop strategies and skills to address issues constructively. Even if just one partner initially participates in counseling sessions, the other partner may be more willing to participate once trust has been established with the therapist.

Remain Positive

Struggling marriages can be incredibly overwhelming and emotionally draining for both partners involved. Couples must stay positive throughout this trying time by looking at the bright side even when things seem bleak. Couples should focus on what brought them together initially—the love they share—and use that foundation as motivation to work through their issues together instead of giving up on their relationship altogether. By remaining positive during difficult times, couples have a better chance of finding solutions that work for both partners involved in the marriage.

busy lawyer

Get a Divorce Lawyer

Unfortunately, those solutions might not work out, and getting a reliable divorce lawyer may be the best option. A qualified divorce lawyer can help couples navigate the legal process of separation and ensure the process is as smooth as possible for both partners. Divorce lawyers can also advise on child custody and support issues if children are involved in the marriage.

The struggle might no longer be worth it, especially if it comes at a cost to both parties, and getting a divorce lawyer is an essential step in moving on with your life.

Final Thoughts

It’s never easy to watch a marriage struggle, but couples should not relinquish their relationship. With patience and dedication, working through problems and finding solutions that bring both partners back together is possible. If this fails, getting the help of a qualified divorce lawyer can ensure that the separation process is done legally and fairly for both parties involved. Regardless of what happens, it’s important to remember that you are not alone—support systems like friends and family can help provide comfort during a tough time.

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